A not so Brady Sequel

Most of the trips that I took out were boy scout troops. Occasionally, there would be a girl scout troop that came through though. One of our guides took this group out and had a great time. He managed to pass the long nights with the adult leader, Brady, a young lady in her early twenties.

I took the group out the following year and it was a disaster from the beginning. From the outset, there was a power struggle. Brady had only been on one trip before and at this point I had been guiding for a couple summers. Brady was very much like I was on my first trip, but taken up a notch. She was even more controlling than I was. Also, at the end of the day, the guide is in charge. Usually this wasn't an issue because most of the adult leaders just go with the flow.

The first issue was with pack inspection. We were canoeing, so weight wasn't much of an issue. At this point I had also realized that not too much could go wrong. Probably the worst case scenario that had any real likelihood of happening is that a black bear may get into your food stash. We camped in popular areas and the bears learned to associate humans with food. The rememdy was to tie a line between two trees 25-30 feet above the ground. You would then hoist your bag midway between the two trees with a second line. If it is just a couple of people, this is pretty easy. However, with a group of 15, particularly on the first night, the bag is close to 100 pounds. It is a pain to properly hang the bag and people take a number of shortcuts. One solution was to float the bag in the river on a canoe. Bears can swim. Also, unless anchored, the canoe has a tendency to drift towards the shore. Another solution is to climb a tree, throw the rope over a sturdy branch and pull the bag up. However, the bag is close to the tree and bears can climb trees. Some have even learned to hack at the rope and let the bag fall to the ground. A number of guides had their food raided by a bear. Most of the time, they either made do with the remaining food or were resupplied. The bears posed no threat of attack, they simply ate the food and left. Other than that, it was generally smooth sailing.

During pack inspection, we try to ensure that everyone has some sort of waterproof jacket. A 60 degree day, combined with rain, can make you quite cold if you don't stay dry. Some go as far as to parrot the saying "cotton kills". The rational is that cotton is a wonderful summer fabric, it is light and durable. However, when cotton gets wet, it loses all insulating properties. Many synthetic fabrics and most famously wool, still insulate when wet. It would be foolish to climb a mountain, in the middle of winter, wearing only cotton. Very foolish. I have done this. (There is at least a post's worth of material there. Suffice to say, it involved KW breaking trail through 2+ feet of snow the entire trip and still hiking faster than the Load and I. It also involved near suffocation by putting too many people in a tent that did not ventilate well.) It is not foolish to take a trip in the summer and wear cotton, particularly if you have some halfway decent rain gear. So during my inspection, I noticed that a number of the participants clothes were primarily cotton. I remarked that in general, cotton was not the best material, but it was no problem on this trip. Brady did not like this. Apparently she had been lecturing the group for months leading up to the trip on the dangers of cotton. She was adamanant that she had lectured every single participant. She was further angered when I asked her why no-one, including her, had followed the advice. Regardless, the trip would go on. So we finished the inspection and called it a night.

The route was Long Lake to the end of the Raquette River. Total distance was just a tad over 30 miles and we had 4.5 days. There was no mountain to climb in the middle of this trek, it was all canoeing. Throughout the trip, there were just lots of little things that bothered me. Second guessing campsites and how to properly set up a tent or cook a meal. This was not gourmet cooking. You boiled water and added it to the food. Regardless, Brady treated it like we were on Top Chef or something.

The only challenge was a 1.5 mile carry around some rapids in the Raquette River. A 70 pound canoe is not too difficult to carry for an adult male. It takes some practice to get it from the ground level up to your shoulders, but once you master that it is pretty easy. For smaller people, the canoe is typically carried by two people. There is less weight, but there are a series of drawbacks. First, you really can't see anything. Your head is inside the canoe and you can see only a few feet ahead of you. When carrying solo, you can tilt the bow of the canoe up and get a good line of sight. With two people though, the canoe is horizontal. The second issue is that if you and your partner are not in step with each other, and invariably at some point, you will not be in step - the canoe will start to bounce. Sometimes, you can experience a phenomenon similar to what happened to the Tacoma-Narrows Bridge in a windstorm. In that case, the bridge was designed in such a way, that the wind interacted with the deflection of the bridge in such a way that a positive feedback loop was created. Each subsequent gust of wind amplified the deflection of the one before and the bridge quickly experienced enormous deflections and collapsed. It is somewhat similar to pumping your legs on a swing; the pumping of your legs, if done correctly, can cause the swing to go higher and higher. Most of the time, if the bridge is designed correctly, the loop is not positive and deflections due to the wind quickly die out; It is somewhat similar to sitting on a swing and just pumping your legs randomly, the swing will move a bit, but not very much. In the context of carrying the canoe, you can experience a slice of this phenomenon where the canoe just starts bouncing a lot. It is not comfortable. It is even less fun when you are constantly tripping over roots and rocks because you can't see well. As you can imagine, things can get pretty heated. Many a good argument happened under a canoe. My general approach is to carry my canoe and gear to the end and then make trips to help those who are struggling. This way I spend the least time with those who are frustrated.

Everyone was struggling on this trip. The trail was littered with girls fighting, sometimes crying and canoes and gear strewn across the trail. Wherever the canoe happened to be when it was flung down in a fit of despair, is where it looked like it would remain. Some canoes had not made it more than a hundred yards. At this point, I had mellowed, so I did not order anyone to pick up the canoe and carry on. Rather, it was easier to simply carry the canoes myself. Everyone appreciated it. Except Brady. She was determined to carry her own canoe. She probably weighed 125 pounds. She also wanted to carry her pack while she carried the canoe. The nice part of carrying both the pack and the canoe is you only need to make one trip. Plus, you can rest the canoe on your pack and carry most of the weight on the hip-belt. Unless you are the German. I imagine he would have either paddled through the rapids, or carry one canoe in each hand like a pair of suitcases. I didn't have the German, I had Brady. Over the next hour or so, I would pass her either as I was carrying a canoe to the other end, or returning to pick up the next one. I offered help on a number of occasions, she always refused. Never politely. After the second time, I stopped caring. I would cheerfully pass her and give the canoe a friendly tap. An aluminum canoe is not unlike a bong in this respect. She was inside the bong and I am sure the friendly taps gave her the movtivation to carry on. Finally, we got all the gear and the scouts to the other end. The other end is very pretty, it is right at the end of the rapids and it is a fun place to eat lunch and swim. We did this for over an hour. Finally Brady showed up. She had done it, but she was at the point of exhaustion. This did not improve things. We were supposed to paddle a bit further, make camp and get picked up early the next morning.

Instead, I decided that every empty campsite was either full or not suitable. In reality, there were plenty of perfectly good campsites. So we ended up at the takeout. The night before we were scheduled to. Not even Sarge arrived that early. I decided that I would hike to whatever was nearby and see if I could make a call to camp. Brady insisted on coming with me. I have no idea why. We were not going to have a pleasant stroll. I didn't even know where we were going. Instead, we just walked in silence. We located a phone, made the call, and waited. Finally, it was over and the van arrived. As a bonus, it was not the usual drivers, but some younger guys who liked to have some fun. On the ride back we had to stop for some gas and I picked up some beer. Up to this point, I had never drank while still returning from the trip. But this was different. I needed a drink. There is one upside. After that trip with Brady, a beer never tasted so good.