This story did not happen to me, I only know about it second hand. However, M.L. is a great story teller and even though this is all hearsay, hopefully it amuses.
Like I have said before, most of the time the second adult on the trip is pretty unremarkable. Occasionally they are amazingly good like the unstoppable German and unfortunately sometimes they fall on the other end of the spectrum.
M.L was a fellow guide and remains a great friend. He has climbed Mount Blanc, rode his bike from Canada to Mexico along the continental divide and climbed all 6 peaks surrounding our camp in a single day. M.L. and I once rode our bikes home from camp. It took about 3 days, to cover the 200 or so miles and it was great fun even though we encountered some crazy rain and traffic.
A trek begins on Sunday afternoon when the group arrives. You conduct swim checks, review medical records and distribute gear. Incidentally, the review of the medical records is pretty much a farce. None of us had much medical training beyond a crash course in first aid and CPR. Yet, we would collect the medical records and then read through them in front of the entire group. There was no attempt to keep anything private. If there was anything on the records that was out of the ordinary, I would ask two questions. First, what does this mean and second, is there anything we could do about it. We were then supposed to carry the medical records with us. Carrying around a sheaf of papers in a backpack that is likely to get wet and dirty does not work too well. Fortunately, we had an enormous building on the camp that used to serve as a kitchen and dining hall. The building is no longer at camp because it eventually collapsed. It was in the advanced stages of decay while I worked there. Even though much of the kitchen equipment no longer worked, it was still there. The walk in refrigerators were used to store dry goods and the load and I utilized the large industrial sized ovens for file storage. Once we had reviewed the medical records I would dutifully stash them in the oven for safe keeping. This was not officially endorsed.
Once you get the group set up, you will spend the rest of the evening making sure that you have all your gear and are ready to go. It is an early start the next morning because most of the trips involve a 1-2 hour drive from camp to the start of the trip. Most of the time this is a good time to get a nap in. The drivers are almost always the old retired guys. Once they drop you off you make a plan as to when you want to be picked up on Friday. Fridays are usually short days so that you are picked up in the morning and back in Camp right around lunch time.
My favorite driver was a guy we called Sarge. I would typically tell him to pick me up around 10 and then see how early I could get to the pickup spot. Sarge was sharp though and like most old guys enjoyed getting up really early in the morning. I could never beat him to the pick up. Even if I got there at 7:30 and the agreed pick up time was 11:00, he would be there waiting for me.
M.L. got off to a bad start on his trip. Sarge was not his driver. M.L.'s driver dropped off the group in the wrong location. I don't think this had ever happened before. Our trips were pretty standard and the drop offs were not difficult to find. Nevertheless, it happened. Because this was so out of the ordinary, M.L. did not check that they were in the right location. No one would have. You just assume that the driver would get it right. As M.L. tells it, he realized he was in the wrong location when he got to the end of the first lake. He was supposed to encounter a river that would lead into the next lake. There was no river. The lake just ended. There was a conduit, essentially a large drain pipe, but definitely no river. At this point, the driver had left and M.L. had a large group of immature boy scouts and Tony, his adult leader.
Tony loved to talk. Tony's didn't need to have anything to talk about, he just loved the sound of his own voice. He was the type of guy who would read the phone book aloud if there was silence.
When you realize that you are not where you are supposed to be, you need to come up with a plan, quickly. You don't need someone talking in your ear non-stop, but nevertheless, that is what M.L. got. M.L. was able to figure out where they were and was not that far from where he was supposed to be. So it looked like the trip would be a success, with a small hiccup.
The first night of the trip is the toughest. The scouts are not familiar with setting up the tents, working the stoves or purifying the water. Everything takes longer and you usually have less daylight because everyone travels slower the first day. This problem was compounded for M.L. because of the delay. Eventually, everyone was settling in and M.L. was setting up his tent. Typically we would set our tent up 100 yards from the group to get a bit of solitude. As M.L. was setting up his tent, Tony showed up and declared that he would set up his tent immediately adjacent to M.L. Tony then engaged in non-stop filibuster while setting up his tent and for much of the evening until he finally fell asleep. Amazingly, things would get worse.
Sometime that evening, Tony was bitten by a Spider. Tony was bitten on his upper leg, right near the buttocks. M.L. knew exactly where he had been bitten because Tony described it in vivid detail. Way too much detail, way too late at night. The following morning, perhaps believing that his description was not detailed enough, Tony dropped trow to show M.L. exactly where the Spider had bitten him. It was actually a pretty bad bite, there was a lot of swelling and Tony could not continue the trip. He needed medical attention. Now, M.L. had to arrange to get Tony picked up.
We did not carry cell phones then, and most likely you wouldn't be able to get reception. If you needed a phone you would have to find either a residence or business that would let you use the phone. People were friendly, but it typically took a few hours to find a residence or business. Then it would take a few hours for the driver to reach you. M.L. was able to arrange for Tony to be picked up, but not much got done that day. M.L. did receive frequent status updates from Tony about whether the bite had turned a slightly darker shade or purple or other inane details.
Also, he had to deal with a bunch of brats with too much time on his hands. Even though he was done babysitting Tony, he now had to babysit the group. This was not a good trip for M.L.
Tony received some medical attention and stayed around the main camp. He somehow assigned himself the job of keeping the soda machines at camp stocked up. True to form, he gave detailed updates at every meal regarding the status.
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