It all started off easily enough. I had a fresh podcast of "This American Life" and the soothing sounds of Ira Glass' voice as I set off on my virtual journey. Even though it was cold and icy outside, it was perfectly comfortable in the fitness room of our housing area.
So I figured I should start out at 6 mph, a flat 10 min per mile pace. Every five minutes, I would increase the pace a little bit, just to keep things interesting. The first piece of the podcast had to do with a guy from Missouri that had been convicted and sentenced to 13 years for armed robbery. The only problem was that he never actually served his sentence. Rather, the prosecutor mistakenly represented to the Judge that he had indeed began his sentence and was not out on bail (even though he was). So, everything seemed to be going well for this guy. He got married, started a family and ran a successful business. He almost got away with it. Ironically, approximately 13 years later, Missouri was going through the process of releasing him. It was only then that they realized he had never actually served any time. So, they sent a heavily armed squad of U.S. Marshalls to his house early in the morning and hauled him in.
I have mixed feelings on this guy. He knew that the State had screwed up. He was guilty and knew that he was only out on a technicality. On the other hand, he had showed rehabilitation. He was a functioning member of society, paid his taxes and was a good father. There seemed little reason to put him away for 13 years at a cost of $20k a year just to exact revenge. Besides, the State shouldered a fair amount of the blame. He wasn't hiding, they knew exactly where he was, they simply failed to come get him. Ultimately the State agreed and released him after a few months. Amazingly, he was picked up on a robbery charge a few months later. However, this time he was innocent, there was video proof that he was not anywhere near where the crime occured. Ultimately he was cleared of that charge as well.
That took me through the first twenty minutes and I was feeling great. I had a couple of miles down and was ready for more. The next piece was pretty lame. It was a short fiction piece that NPR had converted into a "radio drama" It featured a young lady out on a date with a pretty charming guy. Turns out that this guy is a pretty brutal African warlord, but he talks about it all, including the gruesome details inherent in the business of being a warlord, like just another job. The young lady, while taken aback, still goes forward with the date. I think it was well thought out and an interesting concept. The idea that a warlord is a person too, and even warlords may go on first dates where the topic of the absurdity of flour-less chocolate cake is discussed. (Flour is probably one of the healthier things in cake - so are they just bragging that their cake is butter and eggs). Overall, not a terrible segment, but just did not appeal to me.
That one probably took me to about the three mile mark. Three miles is tough, because you have knocked off a fair bit, but in the spirit of Robert Frost, I still had miles to go before I could rest (sleep). The next piece was very short, but good. It was a comedian reflecting on her middle school music teacher. Apparently this guy was pretty laid back and let the kids bring in their favorite records and play them for the class. (Incidentally, I had a pretty kooky guy for music class in middle school - he was big into playing weird music with the lights turned down and just lying on the floor and letting the music "flow" through you - pretty sure he would have passed a bong around if he was just a little bit more nutty). So this lady loved the Rolling Stones and the Beatles and always brought in their records to play. One day, one of the other kids in class asked her for advice on what song to play in class. He had brought his Dad's Rolling Stones album in and she immediately picked the song "You can't always get what you want" I am not a big Rolling Stones fan, but I do know that this song is pretty popular. However, the song is quite long and the first minute or so features what sounds like a children's quire singing the chorus very slowly and at a very high pitch. Unfortunately, for our story teller, the class ended before the song got good. This kid who had asked her for help thought she had played a cruel trick on him.
I think this took me through 3.5 to 4 miles. I almost gave up on the next story. Honestly, I am probably not giving it justice here because I was spacing out during a lot of it. It just seemed that the story teller was trying too hard to make his audience feel a certain way. He told the story of a long cab ride that he took in Israel shortly after his wife had a miscarriage and he learned that his father needed a risky operation due to cancer. In order to stand any chance at beating the cancer, the doctors would need to remove his dad's tongue and larynx. So, this guy is in a bad mood. For whatever reason, he takes it out on his taxi driver who is just trying to be friendly. The issue I had with it is that he never tells his taxi driver that he is not in the mood for talking. He just thinks it to himself really hard. As if this taxi driver is some sort of mind reader! In my opinion, taxi drivers are usually pretty interesting. They are often immigrants to the country, work extremely long hours and have a deep and never ending hatred of Uber! I have no problem chatting with them, in fact provided that they can get me to my destination (see last post) I am generally pretty easy going on them. Not this guy though, he just ends up unloading on his taxi driver telling him to shut the hell up. This is shortly after the taxi driver has told a story of another taxi driver trying to screw his out a few thousand dollars. Our narrator, continuing his theme of being batshit crazy, tells the taxi driver to pull over at a bank and he will withdraw a couple of thousand bucks and give it to the taxi driver. All that the driver needs to do in return is create a scenario where the taxi driver's wife just had a miscarriage and the taxi driver's dad has cancer. What an asshole. I understand that people have different levels of pain that they are dealing with at any given time, but just because one person is going through some tough personal issues does not negate the troubles of others. Also, all this taxi driver did was pick this dude up and talk to him. This guy acted like the taxi driver was somehow responsible for all the bad stuff this guy was facing. I really would have liked to have heard the story from the perspective of the taxi driver. It probably would have been fairly interesting - something about making small talk with a dude and the guy completely losing his mind! I have spent enough on this, but ultimately there was some crap about the taxi getting hit with a bomb or involved in a traffic accident (see how little I was paying attention here) and the guy in the taxi not wanting to tell his Dad, so as not to worry him.
I was really hoping for something good, and NPR did not disappoint. The next segment dealt with the non-fiction story of the meat shortage in the US in the early 1900s. These two guys, incredibly smart and innovative men, came up with the idea of introducing hippopotamuses as a food source. It was actually pretty brilliant, because hippos could live and graze in land that was totally useless for cattle or other livestock. The other issue they could address is there was an outbreak of a particularly invasive plant in the wetlands at the time and the hippos could turn that into meat. While on its face it seemed crazy, it really wasn't. Most of the meat we currently eat (sheep. cattle, chickens) are not native to North America, we have just been eating them for so long that we don't consider them imported. Interestingly, the guy presenting the story seemed to think if they had e-mail and faster communication, it may have worked. Because both of these guys were constantly travelling, they were forever sending letters that were crossing in the mail. One of the guys went on to great success and both Yale and Stanford wanted his papers, as I am sure they will want this blog! Even then, many years later, he still believed that it was a good idea.
So ended the podcast, but not my run. I had hit six miles and was pretty much wiped. But I wanted that last mile. I had to reduce the speed to a pretty pathetic pace for a couple of minutes to get my second wind, but eventually it came and I was able to power through the last mile!
Monday, February 23, 2015
Friday, February 20, 2015
Back at it and thoughts on airports
Feels like forever since I last posted. I have resumed my Marathon training, or that is to say, I started over at week 1 again. But, this week I have done three three milers, with just the long run to go on Sunday. If I can, I'll push for 7 miles, which is the recommended distance for the week 2 long run. If successful, then I will move on to week 3. If I only get 6, then I will have to continue with week 2. I am cautiously optimistic because today's run went really well, 3 miles at just under 8:30 pace. This was a huge turnaround from the run the day before, where I had struggled to go under a 10 minute pace. Part of that may have had to do with the fact that I was sore from an impromptu truck pull the day before ..... but that is a post for another day.
This week, winter has really come to DC. So much so, that Bella only went to school one day this week! Perhaps it feels particularly cold because the week before we were out in San Diego where it was in the 80s. The only low parts of the trip were the flights. On both flights I was put in the middle at the very back of the plane and every single seat was taken. It seems now that the last highlight of flying coach is snagging a coveted spot in the overhead bins. I think part of it has to do with the laissez faire attitude flight attendants seem to have adopted. People bring these huge carry-on bags and no-one seems to bat an eye! Sure, there are those metal bins placed around the airport that tell you to check your bag for size compliance, but I have never seen anyone use one! Since most airlines allow you to check bags for free if flying with the military, I didn't even bother but I did witness some pretty funny stuff.
First, you get the people that are able to get their bag in the overhead, but many rows back from where they are sitting. So they have to swim against the stream at boarding to try to get back to their seat. Usually, people let them through, though begrudgingly. What is more fun to watch though is at arrival, there is always one person who thinks that they will be able to travel against the mass of people in the aisle to get to their bag. I have yet to see that one work. Trying to cut the line of people departing an aircraft is one of the hardest lines to cut. The other exercise in futility is when the flight attendants ask those not making a connection to remain seated so that those making a connection can leave the aircraft first. Bullshit! I place myself in the category of always making a connection. Also, even though it seems like an eternity, it doesn't take that long to actually clear the aircraft. I doubt the success of most people making a connection hinges on gaining a couple of minutes from deplaning first.
The worst part about the middle seat is the war of the armrests. The problem is, that you cannot divide 4 armrests evenly by three people. The one nearest the aisle and the one nearest the window are clearly spoken for. However, I think people feel that if they have one armrest, they should naturally get the other, to balance out. F that. I am getting at least one armrest, and if I have to sit in the middle, I feel like I should get the other as a consolation prize! My strategy is to wait until someone leaves the armrest clear for even a second, perhaps to turn the page of a book or get something out of their bag. Then I pounce! I plant my arm there and I will try to hold that territory as long as possible. On my flight out, I was sandwiched between two pretty large people, luckily they decided to hibernate on the plane, so the armrests were mine!
The flight back had even more hijinx. First, I passed a guy in the security line who looked like he had come right off a pirate ship. He had the giant 3 pointed hat, the pirate shirt, everything. The best part was that it looked like he was travelling with his wife and she was dressed as plain as could be! Perhaps he had some sort of pirate engagement immediately after his plane arrived and there was simply no time to change. I wish I could have talked to him a bit more.
The next funny part was that the plane was predictably extremely full and they made the announcement that those who were boarding last would likely have to check their carry-on bags. They try to upsell this by explaining that it is 100% complimentary! That takes some balls. Here they are initially telling people that you are allotted a carry on bag, but when they cannot fulfill their side of the bargain they try to explain that the concession is that they won't charge you for their screwup! So they keep repeating the message, encouraging, then urging people to check their bags. Finally, the inevitable happens and they report that indeed all the overhead bins are full and remaining passengers must check their bags (but still absolutely free!) A few people groaned, but this one middle aged old lady who looked like she might be a 7th grade English teacher dropped a pretty loud Mother F&*%ER to no-one in particular. I guess she really didn't want to check her bag.
In the continuing tradition of older white people raging against nothing in particular, my seatmate on the return flight was an older white guy. Probably in his 60s. On most long haul United flights the planes are equipped with direct TV, for a cost. JetBlue pioneered this, as far as I know, and even offered it for free. But with United, only unwanted bag checks are free. I noticed that the old guy's screen wasn't working, and he was not happy about it. The entire time we were on the ground and for the first ten minutes of the flight, he was trying to fix it. It started off calmly enough, he tried pressing the various buttons. Eventually both the pace and the intensity increased to almost a frantic level. Finally, he too decided to drop a pretty loud F-bomb. And amazingly, the screen started working at that exact moment! The great part was, he never looked at the screen again. He had no intention of actually paying for the service, I guess he just wanted the option. It would be a bit like going ballistic about not receiving a dessert menu when you had no intention of actually ordering any dessert.
My wife and the girls were not flying with me, but there flight was at almost the exact same time. Consequently, we were both flying through the same weather. The descent was pretty rough, there were extremely high winds and the turbulence was pretty good with some big jolts here and there. I was worried that the girls may have been afraid. Turns out it was just the opposite, they were having the time of their lives laughing their heads off and wanting more!
Perhaps the icing on the cake was our taxi driver home though. Maybe I was a bit short tempered from the long flight and the early start but this guy seemed to have no business driving a cab. We all pile in and I tell him our destination, which is pretty close to the airport, probably about 7-8 miles away. He then asks me which way I want to go. I tell him that I really don't care. At least to my knowledge, no one route is better than another. So I tell him to take the highway. Now, apparently, he is under the impression that I am his co-pilot and will give him step by step directions. I did not realize it until we are getting dangerously close to blowing our exit. I tell him, but it is too late. Anyway, I let it go, getting off at the next exit is not that much slower. Then I realize that we are about to miss another turn, and this time I don't think it is too late. But he does. So we have to make a U-turn. I then explain to him that GPS is pretty standard technology, particularly in the taxi business. He retorts that he thought I would give him step by step directions since I told him I wanted to take the highway. The problem is, he never gave any impression that he was waiting for my input until it was too late. Also, he seemed to blame me, rather than simply apologize. This was probably the first time I didn't give any tip for a taxi ride.
All in all, a hell of a trip!
This week, winter has really come to DC. So much so, that Bella only went to school one day this week! Perhaps it feels particularly cold because the week before we were out in San Diego where it was in the 80s. The only low parts of the trip were the flights. On both flights I was put in the middle at the very back of the plane and every single seat was taken. It seems now that the last highlight of flying coach is snagging a coveted spot in the overhead bins. I think part of it has to do with the laissez faire attitude flight attendants seem to have adopted. People bring these huge carry-on bags and no-one seems to bat an eye! Sure, there are those metal bins placed around the airport that tell you to check your bag for size compliance, but I have never seen anyone use one! Since most airlines allow you to check bags for free if flying with the military, I didn't even bother but I did witness some pretty funny stuff.
First, you get the people that are able to get their bag in the overhead, but many rows back from where they are sitting. So they have to swim against the stream at boarding to try to get back to their seat. Usually, people let them through, though begrudgingly. What is more fun to watch though is at arrival, there is always one person who thinks that they will be able to travel against the mass of people in the aisle to get to their bag. I have yet to see that one work. Trying to cut the line of people departing an aircraft is one of the hardest lines to cut. The other exercise in futility is when the flight attendants ask those not making a connection to remain seated so that those making a connection can leave the aircraft first. Bullshit! I place myself in the category of always making a connection. Also, even though it seems like an eternity, it doesn't take that long to actually clear the aircraft. I doubt the success of most people making a connection hinges on gaining a couple of minutes from deplaning first.
The worst part about the middle seat is the war of the armrests. The problem is, that you cannot divide 4 armrests evenly by three people. The one nearest the aisle and the one nearest the window are clearly spoken for. However, I think people feel that if they have one armrest, they should naturally get the other, to balance out. F that. I am getting at least one armrest, and if I have to sit in the middle, I feel like I should get the other as a consolation prize! My strategy is to wait until someone leaves the armrest clear for even a second, perhaps to turn the page of a book or get something out of their bag. Then I pounce! I plant my arm there and I will try to hold that territory as long as possible. On my flight out, I was sandwiched between two pretty large people, luckily they decided to hibernate on the plane, so the armrests were mine!
The flight back had even more hijinx. First, I passed a guy in the security line who looked like he had come right off a pirate ship. He had the giant 3 pointed hat, the pirate shirt, everything. The best part was that it looked like he was travelling with his wife and she was dressed as plain as could be! Perhaps he had some sort of pirate engagement immediately after his plane arrived and there was simply no time to change. I wish I could have talked to him a bit more.
The next funny part was that the plane was predictably extremely full and they made the announcement that those who were boarding last would likely have to check their carry-on bags. They try to upsell this by explaining that it is 100% complimentary! That takes some balls. Here they are initially telling people that you are allotted a carry on bag, but when they cannot fulfill their side of the bargain they try to explain that the concession is that they won't charge you for their screwup! So they keep repeating the message, encouraging, then urging people to check their bags. Finally, the inevitable happens and they report that indeed all the overhead bins are full and remaining passengers must check their bags (but still absolutely free!) A few people groaned, but this one middle aged old lady who looked like she might be a 7th grade English teacher dropped a pretty loud Mother F&*%ER to no-one in particular. I guess she really didn't want to check her bag.
In the continuing tradition of older white people raging against nothing in particular, my seatmate on the return flight was an older white guy. Probably in his 60s. On most long haul United flights the planes are equipped with direct TV, for a cost. JetBlue pioneered this, as far as I know, and even offered it for free. But with United, only unwanted bag checks are free. I noticed that the old guy's screen wasn't working, and he was not happy about it. The entire time we were on the ground and for the first ten minutes of the flight, he was trying to fix it. It started off calmly enough, he tried pressing the various buttons. Eventually both the pace and the intensity increased to almost a frantic level. Finally, he too decided to drop a pretty loud F-bomb. And amazingly, the screen started working at that exact moment! The great part was, he never looked at the screen again. He had no intention of actually paying for the service, I guess he just wanted the option. It would be a bit like going ballistic about not receiving a dessert menu when you had no intention of actually ordering any dessert.
My wife and the girls were not flying with me, but there flight was at almost the exact same time. Consequently, we were both flying through the same weather. The descent was pretty rough, there were extremely high winds and the turbulence was pretty good with some big jolts here and there. I was worried that the girls may have been afraid. Turns out it was just the opposite, they were having the time of their lives laughing their heads off and wanting more!
Perhaps the icing on the cake was our taxi driver home though. Maybe I was a bit short tempered from the long flight and the early start but this guy seemed to have no business driving a cab. We all pile in and I tell him our destination, which is pretty close to the airport, probably about 7-8 miles away. He then asks me which way I want to go. I tell him that I really don't care. At least to my knowledge, no one route is better than another. So I tell him to take the highway. Now, apparently, he is under the impression that I am his co-pilot and will give him step by step directions. I did not realize it until we are getting dangerously close to blowing our exit. I tell him, but it is too late. Anyway, I let it go, getting off at the next exit is not that much slower. Then I realize that we are about to miss another turn, and this time I don't think it is too late. But he does. So we have to make a U-turn. I then explain to him that GPS is pretty standard technology, particularly in the taxi business. He retorts that he thought I would give him step by step directions since I told him I wanted to take the highway. The problem is, he never gave any impression that he was waiting for my input until it was too late. Also, he seemed to blame me, rather than simply apologize. This was probably the first time I didn't give any tip for a taxi ride.
All in all, a hell of a trip!
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